“Butter should not be carbonated.”

So here’s my current frustration with the bike (which still has no name, poor nameless thing)…  

Yesterday my front brakes weren’t working correctly.  I would squeeze the brakes and the lever would travel all the way to the handlebar, and the pads wouldn’t grab the wheel.  Not very useful.  So my girl generously offered to drive me over to Derailer so I could get them fixed up.  I spend an hour over there making sure everything was cool, and at the end my brakes were awesome… until I drove off the lot.  I squeezed them while actually riding, felt something slip, and then the damn things stopped working.  I’m so irritated.  I want to ride my damn bike.  I guess I’ll take a break from Puppet in a bit to get out there with a crescent wrench and see if I can adjust it in less than 15 minutes, which is about my tolerance level right now. 

My son is very excited.  He put a candy cane in a ziploc baggie with some water last night and put it in the fridge. (I wouldn’t let him put it in the freezer, so the fridge it was.)  This morning the water in the bag is red and he’s walking around sloshing it saying how much it looks like bloooood.  It’s pretty gross, which means it’s awesome.

Things you never thought you’d hear yourself saying #29875:

“Don’t use the couch as a napkin.”

…for bitterness and snark on EN:


tishy: if i hear one more person pointedly and snottily reply "Merry
Christmas" when someone says :Happy Holidays", I may be forced to
convert myself
Vanyel: I always respond "Happy Chanukah"
tishy: that's really starting to bug me, and even as a non-practicing
christian it makes me feel ashamed to be even loosely associated
with them
marcie: i bet
marcie: there are at least 3 other winter holidays widely celebrated in this
country
cerby: I've started responding with "happy lemming-like blately
consumer-guilt driven time of year"
Vanyel: I'll show you a fucking war on christmas
Vanyel: when santa claus gets shot on his sled by anti aircraft fire
marcie: and with 82% of the country identifying as xian at the last census,
i don't get why some xians are so fucking threatened by that fact
cerby: err, consumerism
Vanyel: THEN its a fucking war on christmas
marcie: ahahah
marcie: kwanzaa, hanukkah, and solstice are not going to dismantle the xmas
machine as we know it
marcie: more's the pity
Vanyel: THATS what I should answer
tishy: my mom actually sent me a link to some conservative's rant about the
"Merry Christmas" thing, and he said something to the effect of "90%
of Americans celebrate Christmas"
Vanyel: HAPPY SOLSTICE
tishy: i have a hard time believing that one
marcie: there is nothing worse than an oppressive majority that thinks it's
a repressed minority
tishy: and even if 90% do celebrate it, a significant portion of those
don't celebrate it as a religious holiday
marcie: exactly
Vanyel: if you want to know what a repressed minority is, go visit
christians in Iraq.


Have you wondered where the title of this little blog comes from? Do you say to yourself, “Self, I just can’t sleep until I find out why Joey named her blog ‘The Telnet Mars’! I just can’t!”

Well wonder no more. I present to you the origin of “The Telnet Mars”.

A little background is in order.

I hang out on a BBS, which has been my regular net hangout for the last ten years. I can usually be found there giving my friends shit, torturing newbies, grousing about work and generally enjoying life. This helped me keep my sanity at my last job, which was sucking my soul out through my ears.

In this scenario, I am ‘marcie’ and I am working as a peon junior systems administrator at my former job. I have received a ticket from our illustrious helpdesk that is making me twitch. Herein:

marcie: When she is logged into the server from home she can
marcie: not edit unix commands. She said that Jane Smith can
do this with her account. Her
marcie: instructor said to call the helpdesk.
marcie: goody.
marcie: SHE CANNOT EDIT UNIX COMMANDS!
marcie: i'm going to make this into a song
Slayer: what?
Slayer: i'm so confused
marcie: along with "how to make /etc/defaultrouter file?"
DontKnow: as in tcsh command line editing?
*** xi-fewd is now known as Xi
marcie: i have no idea
marcie: probably means she typed 'dir' and it didn't work
marcie: or something like that
marcie: SHE CANNOT, SHE CANNOT, SHE CANNOT... EDIT! UNIX! COMMANDS!
Vanyel: ahahah
Vanyel: this is why I wish I could play guitar
marcie: me too
Vanyel: i've already got a guitar riff for that song
Vanyel: in my head
marcie: When she is logged into the server from home she can
marcie: not edit unix commands. She said that Jane Smith can
do this with her account. Her
marcie: instructor said to call the helpdesk.
marcie: YEAH
marcie: CALL THE HELPDESK
Xi: UNIX Punk songs

Later that same … well, month:

marcie: Audrey in Admissions; reported that she is in the telnet Mars, and she is
marcie: getting errors
marcie: SHE IS IN THE TELNET MARS
marcie: !!@#!!
marcie: SHE IS GETTING ERRORS!
marcie: IN THE TELNET MARS!
marcie twitches
Vanyel: damn marcie
Cyrano: all your helpdesk are belong to us.
Vanyel: ahahah
marcie: and you can HAVE THEM ALL

And later still, after I’ve had time to adjust, Vanyel reminds me of my pain, curse his black heart:

Vanyel: shes getting errors IN THE TELNET MARS!
marcie: SHE CANNOT! SHE CANNOT! EDIT! UNIX! COMMANDS!
Vanyel: *scratch scratch scratch*
IGadget: the web is from venus , telnet is from mars
Vanyel: ahahAHAHAH
Vanyel: she doesnt know stty erase
marcie: HAHAHAH
marcie: i love you people
Vanyel: she doesnt know how to use backspace
Vanyel: she cannot edit her unix commands
Vanyel: SHES GETTING ERRORS
Vanyel: IN THE TELNET MARS!
Al: stty ARSE
Vanyel: WICKY WICKY WICKY
marcie: *insert retro beatbox moment*
cuinhell: hahahah

So, well, it’s sort of become an inside joke among the clued (i.e., us). I suppose if I have to explain it, it’s not funny. Oh well; I tried.

A conversation recently with my beloved:

“I’m just leaving from lunch with Rabbi Sandy, and I’m calling so you can talk me down.”

“Talk you down?”

“Yes. There is a Container Store here. You have to get me through this.”

“Ohhhh man. Back AWAY from the Container Store. We so do not have the money for you to be anywhere near it.”

“I know, but it’s just so… container-y! So many little things to put… things in! It’s like instant organization at my fingertips. Like, somehow if I go in there and spend enough money, I’ll come out a J!”

“I am telling Regina that.”

“You are not.”

“Oh, but I am. And she will laugh. Also, back AWAYYYY from the Container Store.”

“I’m driving away now, thank you very much.”

“Good girl.”

I was feeling antsy at my desk just now, so I went downstairs and jammed around the neighborhood for a few minutes on the bike. I was out less than 10 minutes and was panting like a dog when I got back. It sucks being out of shape. I am taking care to stretch before and after, so I’m not really sore, just feeling it a bit when I get off the bike. I’m taking it slowly. I’m having a lot of fun and I definitely feel more awake than I did when I got up from my desk. I think this may be a good solution to the slow death I experience at my desk a lot of days, particularly around 3:00 in the afternoon… what I call “cubicle numbness“. My therapist has been riding my ass for a year to get more exercise anyway, and my lovely and talented girlfriend has been gently reminding me about the benefits of exercise for longer than that. Yes, I do listen… eventually.

Off to build puppet scripts. How very exciting.

Technorati Tags: bike

My bike has been built up to a minimum configuration and I’m ready to start tooling around the neighborhood. I lack even the most basic of accessories (like, y’know, reflectors or lights), but I’m not concerned about that since I’m not going to be riding at night yet. I took the bike with me on the bus today, which was educational — the bike racks on the front of the bus are fairly simple, but I still couldn’t quite figure out the wheel lock. I got it eventually. Being able to zip down to the office on the bike was much more fun than walking. It didn’t make a lot of difference on time, as far as I can tell, but it sure was a blast.

I still have a few bugs to work out of the system. For instance, I’m noticing that when I change gears the chain doesn’t always move right away. What happens is I’ll be pedaling along, hit the shift lever, and immediately my pedaling loses all resistance. I don’t know if that makes any sense. It feels like instead of pushing against something when I pedal I’m spinning in thin air, like there’s no chain attached to the pedals. Eventually the chain will switch to the next gear, but sometimes I have to hit the lever a few times to make it work. It’s pretty frustrating. If anyone has any insight, please comment and let me know what you think.

I’m also thinking I may have to change out the saddle — it is not comfortable. This is probably exacerbated by the fact that I am out of shape and adjusting to riding — I hear it’s normal for your ass to hurt at first. I’ll give that some time to see if goes away. Also still trying to figure out how to adjust the seatpost. It looks like it’s a quick release, but I can’t get the post to budge by fucking around with the quick release. So many neato things to learn.

I haven’t been on a bike in probably 20 years. I am so very rusty at this. But it’s a lot of fun!

Technorati Tags: bike, bike newbie

Christ fucking almighty, I am one tired bitch.

December is a day old and is already commencing to kick our asses. We had services this morning, the Waldorf Fair this afternoon, and then Take Note! had a gig at Buns & Noodle for like four hours tonight. Dude, seriously. I don’t feel like either Miryam or I had a Shabbat, or even a weekend… there is another gig tomorrow morning and then we really have to do stuff for Benji’s bar mitzvah. Which, I might add, is coming up in two, yes, TWO weeks. Egads.

I’d just like to brief y’all on my December, if I may. This will probably involve a lot of bitching. Stalkers, get out your notepads!

1 December (today): Services, Waldorf Fair, B&N gig with Take Note
2 December: TN gig, chorus rehearsal, kid has a concert
3 December: TN rehearsal
4 December: Hanukkah starts
6 December: TN gig at the PFLAG holiday party
7 December: Kid has a concert
8 December: Kid has a concert
9 December: Religious school, TN gig, Hanukkah party at the in-laws (God help us all), DWC rehearsal
10 December: Benji’s 13th birthday, oy, my little boy, he is growing all kinds of up; TN rehearsal
11 December: TN rehearsal with Core Voce
12 December: Court date for a stupid speeding ticket, POWER TO THE PEOPLE; last night of Hanukkah
14 December: TN gig at my office, of all things
15 December: Benji’s bar mitzvah! Also the office Xmas party, also Cece & Thor’s holiday party
16 December: Religious school, two Take Note concerts
20 December: Three-year anniversary with my baby
21 December: Solstice overnight
22 December: Solstice thingy with homeschool group
23 December: Religious school, DWC rehearsal
25 December: Jonah’s birthday
31 December: New Year’s Eve

Uh, I think that’s all. My God, people. Pray for me and my poor girlfriend, that we may not lose our minds.

Now Playing: “House” re-runs